Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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