dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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