No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
