i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
