does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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