Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
