if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
