never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
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I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
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We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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