I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
