when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
