i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
well you can't waste a boner
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
