Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
