we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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