I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize