Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize