he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
