So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
soo... how was my night?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
