Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
