I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
