I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
