i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
