When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
