u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
