Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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