This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Randomize
