you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
