i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Congratulations! We have a period
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
