I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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