Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
