new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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