As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
