There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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