I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
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