i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
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They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
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You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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