I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
