I'm lost and stupid without you.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
