I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
well most of my day revolves around power hour
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
