Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
