i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
are you so shy because you have an std?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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