whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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