if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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