i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
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walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
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He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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