Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
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Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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