Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Randomize
