I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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