I can tuck mytits in my pants
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize