And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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