Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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