i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
