I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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