i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
