He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
