Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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