If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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