I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
