wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
