He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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