so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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