I didn't shave. On purpose
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
