Where did you get a picture of my penis
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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