I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize