high people should be assigned attendants
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
