he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
