Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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