i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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