I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
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So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
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I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
how does that bad decision feel?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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